Wilumina and the Well - Excerpt on Tears

After my mom died in 2015, I was sitting on some rocks, watching the ocean waves come in while on a trip in Nicaragua.

I was crying. I had tears streaming down my face and a big wave came and smashed against the rocks and sprayed just the right side of my face with water, and you know how when you’re crying, you sometimes lick your tears? Well, after the spray landed on my face I licked one side of my mouth and it tasted salty with water from the waves and the other side tasted salty from my tears. I realized that the soul speaks in salt water. If the most primal part of us comes from the ocean, wouldn’t it make sense that our soul would express itself in ocean?

Our soul speaks joy with tears.
Our soul speaks laughter with tears.
Our soul speaks sorrow with tears, and rage with tears…

In fact, every time time we feel something very deeply, our soul speaks in ocean in the form of tears. We’re all just walking around as little oceans. Why not give your soul permission, nay why not celebrate when it speaks up with tears? Isn’t that fucking cool to think about?

Using Grief as a time for Growth

Deep grief can actually be a fruitful time of growth. It’s how we respond that makes the difference.

Grief clears the channels.
It separates the friends from the “friends”.
It brings families closer
Grief writes the permission slip to put up boundaries.
Grief can stoke your creativity.
It can soften your edges.
Grief can begin a chain of events that will change your life.
And so much more.

If only we could understand that grief isn’t weakness. Grief is the other side love. And if you’re one to love greatly, be prepared to feel enormous grief when that love is lost. We are all going to die…all of us. Every single one of us will experience grief. It comes crashing into your household, into your heart and your mind, whether you want it to or not. Making demands! I will be heard! I will not be denied! I am in control now! I am going to take you to your knees.

How willing you are to be rendered into obedience is the determination of our own suffering. What if we answered grief’s demands with yes? With rest? With gentle care and respect? One loss brings up all the others you didn’t allow yourself to feel. They all come knocking. Every time. So, what if you opened the door of your heart and said to grief, “come in, my love, sit a while. Bring tissues.” What might happen?

#wateristheway #wiluminaandthewell #griefandloss #itsokaytocry #loveyourfeelings #itsgoingtobeokay #imhere